So I just turned 26 and I am obviously accepting the fact that my 30’s are looming ahead (on that note, please remember to live in the present so you don’t go down rabbit holes). I am also accepting the fact that it’s okay to live life out loud and present the highest version of myself.

Birthdays have been hard to celebrate in the past. I remember wishing that I had what other people seemed to have based on Instagram posts, highlights reels and of course things I saw on TV and in movies. As a teenager, it was hard for me to feel completely happy on my birthday because I was spending so much time comparing my big day to other people’s. If I didn’t have a room full of balloons in front of me or a giant cake presented in front of a huge crowd it felt like my birthday didn’t matter as much. It felt as if my big day didn’t match up to anyone else’s and that I was celebrating wrong.

We have to manage our expectations of what we think other people should be doing for us.

Obviously a birthday is something to be celebrated. It’s a time to reflect and look forward to the future. It’s one day in the year where you can have all eyes on you. Admittedly, the older I get the more it feels like just another day. At the same time I am able to do more to celebrate myself and I feel more empowered to do the things that make life feel amazing, regardless of whether or not other people feel inclined to do the same thing for me. Sometimes other people won’t show up for you in the same ways you can show up for yourself. For me I had to get over feeling like I wasn’t worthy of really going all out and celebrating. I also had to stop caring about what other people would think about me celebrating myself. If I’m going to go all out and be extra I might as well do it for myself.

When you are younger it can be hard to really do for yourself, but as an adult you have the world at your fingertips, or at least part of it. As a 26 year-old (still getting used to saying that), I now know that basing the way you should be celebrated on things you see is wrong. What matters more is that you do what you can to celebrate yourself and that you remember to make the most of your special day. At this time of my life I am learning how to celebrate myself fully. Whether it’s going on solo dates, or indulging in passions and hobbies, I am learning how to be open to new and exciting experiences and make space to get to know who I am and what I really want out of life.

Learning to celebrate yourself can be challenging for a lot of reasons.

This year my sister and I decided to go bigger and better ( and If you a reading this and you’re confused, I do have a twin sister who I love a whole lot). The last year we spent our birthday in quarantine and didn’t go out to do something special. We had a birthday photo shoot and decided to plan an awesome birthday dinner. We both decided to celebrate ourselves honestly and completely.

I am proud of myself for getting to this point where I actually felt comfortable going all out for myself. Looking back I realize that I had to :

• Stop overthinking about the plans I had for myself
• Stop worrying about what other people would think and
• Learn how to get to the point where I actually believed that I was deserving of the good things I wanted

I think a lot of us go through those feelings of unworthiness and we may feel some anxiety about taking the steps necessary to celebrate ourselves. Some of us may even struggle with this everyday and not just on birthdays.

If you’ve been following the blog and some of my recent posts, you already know I talk about limiting beliefs and how they affect our lives. While I understand those things for myself, I think it’s important that we all reflect on what we’ve been through and see how we might have held on to some things that were never true. Another thing I’ve been thinking on recently is that some of us may just be uncomfortable with having all of the attention on us. We may feel the need to self-deprecate or take the attention off of us because we aren’t used to praising ourselves or seeing ourselves in a very positive light. I mean it is true that it is easier for us to latch onto the negative than it is to always focus on the positive.

What is it so hard to celebrate ourselves?

I personally think some of us have a hard time celebrating ourselves because of things we all face. We don’t always feel great about ourselves, We don’t always like the way we look. Sometimes we wish we could be different or be in a different position in life. We have to remember that we can show ourselves appreciation no matter who we are or where we are in life.

I try to do this by:

• Making time for passions and hobbies
• Remembering to look back on my wins, accomplishments, and strengths
• Reflecting on how I’ve changed for the better
• Building up healthy habits
• Setting and accomplishing small goals for myself
• Journaling about my feelings and emotions to show myself some grace
• Carving out me time in the day

We have to celebrate ourselves. Like I said, we can’t expect other people to show up for ourselves in the ways we can for ourselves. We should be our biggest cheerleaders everyday and do what we can to build up trust and confidence in ourselves.