It’s a great feeling to be able to look back on the year and feel proud of yourself. I started podcasting, went through therapy and got to know a different version of myself. In all honesty, I think this version of me that’s blooming is the one that I had inside all along – I just had to let her heal.

There were plenty of things that I knew I wanted out of life that I had written off. I wrote off these desires but saying things to myself like, it’s not that important, there are more things to worry about than that stuff, you have everything you need. Yes I had everything I needed, but I knew I wanted more. More joy. More happiness. More life. Even when I look back on some old journal entries, I notice that there was a recurring theme. I wanted to get out of my comfort zone. I wanted to elevate and move on to bigger and better things.

Here is my journal entry from the beginning of this year:

“My intention for today was creating and cultivating healthy habits for 2021 and beyond. I’m learning that the more I put into myself, the more I can put into the world. For this year, I want to keep showing myself grace and challenging myself to step out of my comfort zone, and just do whatever it is I set my mind to. I want to continue growing and step into a full version of myself.

In a lot of ways, stepping out on faith and pushing past doubts worries and insecurities is giving honor to God. There has always been a part of me that’s been unsatisfied by mediocre. Whether that’s in myself or other people. I think there’s always something that can be learned, or a skill that can be improved, or an interest that should be explored.

Some may say that I just need to settle down and be comfortable. There’s a difference between being comfortable and being complacent. I don’t want to fall into a state of being that doesn’t allow for growth or change. Many of the things I kept myself from doing in the past didn’t happen because I was afraid of the what ifs. I was comfortable with living in fear instead of seeking help.

In this new time of my life I really want to be confident in myself and my capabilities. There is nothing too hard for God and what is for me already has my name on it. I want to be surrounded by people that care and have my best interest in mind. My energy should go to things other than worrying about people’s opinions or someone’s idea of who I should be. There’s more to who I am than I really give myself credit for. There’s so much that God has placed in me to do. It would be a real disservice to not figure out exactly what those things are…”

In hindsight, I accomplished a lot of things this year and I feel that I am in a much better place to move forward in life and really allow myself to be seen. My intention, other than accomplishing my goals, is to be more intentional and disciplined. I can’t reach my full potential if I lack discipline.

Discipline has literally been the missing piece of my level up puzzle. Discipline, among other things, is a muscle that has to be exercised and strengthened. If anyone should stay on my back about getting things done it should be me right?