I think something that social media really fuels is the need to be accepted or validated by other people. It’s almost as if it’s not enough to have a really interesting hobby or to be a relatable person. Now it seems as if you can only really be all that you are if you have at least one hundred likes, one thousand followers or twenty plus comments on Instagram. This isn’t to knock down anyone who has found success using social media (more power to you). The issue at hand is really that we are allowing “acceptance” from other people to define who we are or who we can become. I’ve been guilty of this even beyond social media.

I would describe myself as a natural optimist and a kind fun-loving person. I often tend to see the glass half-full and I try my best to avoid negativity from people. In my opinion, there’s already enough negativity in the world so it would do us some good to try to be positive every once in a while. With that being said, I’ve met my fair share of people who didn’t view the world in the way that I do and either made me aware of that in small actions or small slights.

In those moments I felt a little hurt because it felt as if the other person was saying that I was pathetic or childish without really saying it. I felt like they didn’t really care to get to know me or the deepest parts of what made me who I was as a person. I felt that I wasn’t being accepted and that ultimately hindered my ability to accept myself. I had begun tying my contentment and fulfillment to what other people thought of me. In hindsight, the more people I felt had “accepted” me the more loved and worthy I felt.

Being that I had been extremely insecure growing up, I fell into a false idea of love that many other people have fallen into. Since I couldn’t find it in me to see myself as loved or worthy of anything I began seeking out compliments or praise for things that I achieved. I put more weight to what other people thought of me and at the same time I was hurting myself emotionally. I was neglecting to do the work that was necessary to take care of myself and to treat myself the way I wanted other people to treat me.

As I thought on this over the past weekend, I realized that in a way I was still doing to myself what I had been doing all of those years ago. No matter what I accomplished or attained I still felt this pressure to have someone see it and validate it. I still felt anxious about what other people would think or how other people would react. I wasn’t letting myself decide how I felt.

To be honest this is something I still have to work out, but I know that in order for me to really put this behind me I have to start doing things for me and only me and I challenge anyone reading this to do the same. Do things that make you happy or make you feel excited and don’t go to social media to say anything about it. Put yourself first sometime and stop giving thought to other people’s opinion about you. Really make an effort to give yourself the space you need to appreciate all that you are and learn how to get to know yourself outside of what anyone else has said about you or made you believe about yourself.