Sometimes you may be doing something random. It could be taking a class, eating out at a restaurant, or even going for a walk. You could be minding your business and having a great time until a certain feeling or emotion comes up. You know it’s not coming from what you’re doing. This feeling is familiar to you and the next thing you have to do is understand where that feeling is coming from…

Recently I was feeling a lot of different emotions and I realized it would be much better for me to identify those emotions and to work through them. These feelings came up for me when I was taking a class and they weren’t new to me at all. I felt overlooked and that’s a feeling I’ve felt in the past.

I remember feeling like I was never really a part of something. I basically felt like I was just existing rather than really living. I know life isn’t about getting picked or being acknowledged all of the time. Seeking validation and acknowledgement is normal and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be appreciated for the great things we do. In spite of that we still have to be able to choose ourselves and love ourselves.

All of those things are true, but it gets tiring when it seems like you are the only one choosing you. At least that’s how I’ve felt. I believe in me and I appreciate me and who I am as a person. I think what hurts is feeling all of those things and still feeling like I am being passed over or pushed aside. Check out this video for some more insight.

Let’s get into some tips I found for finding self-confidence:

Tip #1: Start paying closer attention to yourself.

Take note of the things you are proud of or the things you are good at. We can get caught up in focusing on other people that we become side characters in our own lives!

Tip #2: Pay attention to when you’re feeling overlooked.

When do you feel this? Where do you feel this and why? Don’t be afraid to analyze and feel the emotion. Chances are you can trace these emotions back to a certain moment in time. Get out a journal or talk it out with someone you trust.

Tip #3: Don’t assume other people are better or more than you.

Focus on yourself and on doing your best. Don’t let doubt and comparison steal your joy. We count ourselves out a lot of the time because we are too busy looking at what other people are doing. Don’t worry about who you think is better. Stay in your lane and let your best be enough.

We don’t necessarily need the approval of others, but it can hurt when it feels like you’ve never been approved of. Deep down inside, the things that people said about me or to me hurt me and it felt like I wasn’t good enough for anyone *queue the beginning of a limiting belief*. Ultimately what I am saying, and what I think a lot of us are feeling, is that sometimes it still hurts.

We have to learn how to fully appreciate, love and accept ourselves. Radical self acceptance can be hard, but it isn’t impossible. Working through this hurt and overcoming this hurt will help us to move on to leave our limiting beliefs behind.