The mind is definitely a powerful thing. It can come up with some amazing ideas and creative pursuits. It can also be home to our own worst critic. How do we learn to quiet the mind? How do we keep ourselves from negative self-talk and gaslighting? We’ve all been in a place where maybe we are more critical of ourselves than we need to be. For this reason it’s important to employ techniques and coping skills that help us become our own cheerleader rather than our own worst critic.
I’ve taken a bit of time away just to reflect on what I really want my life to look like and how I want to live my life. As you can imagine this has involved a lot of introspection and if you have been there too, you know that sometimes your thoughts can get away from you. It’s one thing to trust yourself and your instincts, but it’s another thing to realize just how far off you can go if you let your thoughts run off. Sometimes you can completely lose track of what you were even focusing on because you get distracted or maybe you are bothered by something to the point where it seems like you can’t function. Taking hold of your thoughts is a daily practice and a challenge.
Getting quiet is an essential part of being mindful.
So why is it so hard to quiet our minds? First off, I have to say the mind can really be a beautiful place. Introspection is a great ability, imagination is wonderful and our minds shouldn’t be taken for granted, Our minds are always working and if we’re not thinking of one thing we’re thinking of something else. All of this white noise can be distracting, but it can also be really harmful. Our minds are basically always trying to solve problems or perceived problems.
If we make a mistake rather than just acknowledging it and learning from it, we can put blame on ourselves or be harsh thinking that this will help us to be better and do better next time. We can be our own cheerleaders and at the same have the capacity to become our own worst critics. It’s like we think being mean to ourselves is going to help the situation. I mean think about it. If you made messed up a project and your boss, supervisor, manager, whoever decided to yell at you and berate you… do you think that would help you? Would you feel good? I think not. So why do we do it to ourselves?
Minimizing Negative Self-talk
These thoughts and criticisms don’t just affect the way we see ourselves. They affect the ways in which we interact with other people. Take for example trying to make new friends as an adult. How can you make friends if you keep telling yourself no one wants to know you? How about going for a new job. How are you going to get the job if you keep telling yourself you aren’t qualified and that you’re not good enough?
Some ways to minimizing negative self-talk include:
- Stopping your critic
- Remembering that your thoughts and feelings aren’t reality
- Stopping the thought
- Shifting your perspective and reframe your thinking
Definitely check out the podcast for more insight and tips. Here’s a great video all about this topic: